He's working on his cyber-novel about a half-man half cyborg Social Studies teacher from the future who travels back in time to the present day to teach America the secrets to peace, prosperity and happiness. If only his goddamn wife would leave him alone.
What's that? Take out the trash? Shut up, you cunt! I could have been someone until you put your hooks into me. I know you poked a hole in that condom. I'll never forgive you, and secretly I'm biding my time, just waiting for the right moment to shove you down the fucking stairs.
This picture captures Maynard Pitstick as he makes the subtle but poignant decision to switch from typing out his Morning To Do List to starting the first draft of his suicide note.
As if the afternoon couldn't go any worse, Harold's Amazon Kindle broke, forcing him to finish Matt Christopher's "The Great Quarterback Switch" amidst his chickens in the blazing summer sun. With laundry day nowhere in sight, Harry did the usual: packed on a few extra layers of shirts and pants to shorten his anticipation for Mary (the bar-back on Main Street's 'Suds and Buds'). To make sure he didn't sweat through his knickers, the former Soviet electrical engineer rigged his fan to the underbelly of his porch steps with a prolific extension cord and a heap of hope. The kind of hope that grows in your heart, but is dances on your upper lip.
Daydreams soon become nightmares, though, as he doses off only to miss tonight's hilarious episode of Becker.
4 comments:
He's working on his cyber-novel about a half-man half cyborg Social Studies teacher from the future who travels back in time to the present day to teach America the secrets to peace, prosperity and happiness. If only his goddamn wife would leave him alone.
What's that? Take out the trash? Shut up, you cunt! I could have been someone until you put your hooks into me. I know you poked a hole in that condom. I'll never forgive you, and secretly I'm biding my time, just waiting for the right moment to shove you down the fucking stairs.
He also really likes the show Becker.
Thank you Matthew Lesko.
This picture captures Maynard Pitstick as he makes the subtle but poignant decision to switch from typing out his Morning To Do List to starting the first draft of his suicide note.
As if the afternoon couldn't go any worse, Harold's Amazon Kindle broke, forcing him to finish Matt Christopher's "The Great Quarterback Switch" amidst his chickens in the blazing summer sun. With laundry day nowhere in sight, Harry did the usual: packed on a few extra layers of shirts and pants to shorten his anticipation for Mary (the bar-back on Main Street's 'Suds and Buds'). To make sure he didn't sweat through his knickers, the former Soviet electrical engineer rigged his fan to the underbelly of his porch steps with a prolific extension cord and a heap of hope. The kind of hope that grows in your heart, but is dances on your upper lip.
Daydreams soon become nightmares, though, as he doses off only to miss tonight's hilarious episode of Becker.
Post a Comment